You know how you always have this voice inside, the “real you” speaking, trying to communicate? Let me explain myself better… When something happens, something unexpected, you have a reaction. It’s instant, it’s not something that you anticipate. That you can prevent. It might be a thought, or an action. You could jump surprised, or you could have weird things going through your head. This is were I want to establish, in your head. Because, for me, that’s the most fascinating, intriguing and, at the same time, scary, part of… I was going to say life, but it’s not. I sometimes think it’s too much for me to think. Ok, I know I’m getting out of the subject, but just try to keep up, because thoughts don’t have speed limits, and mines certainly have Ferraris.
And usually I end up in the first place I started. I just tried to explain in some sentences what I was thinking about and went way out of subject trying to make myself clear. The stupid thing is that I didn’t, and that I probably said something without saying anything at all. The thing is, when you find yourself having this thoughts… this weird, unanticipated odd thoughts about something, you sometimes surprise yourself of the things that go through your head, right?
You should know by this time that I usually presume that you go through the same things that I do, because you wouldn’t understand me if you didn’t, and because I’d like to think I’m not alone in this.
Have you ever said “how could I just thought that?”. Like if you just found out something about you. Of course I have the theory that you never know everything about you. In different circunstances, you could see how much different you are from the person you thought you were. But sometimes you may go through this phase were you just say “who the hell am I?”. And the thing is, it’s actually exciting. And at the same time, it’s frustating.
When you figure out something about you, it’s almost like seeing your life from another point of view, and really understanding it. You suddenly find the reasons for all this weird things you were doing. I know I should use some examples, so that nobody gets lost in the middle of this thing I call “my thoughts”, but that’s not the point, because if you can’t keep up, you’re not like me, my whole theory just fell down and you should stop reading right now. But if you actually are like me, and you just remembered some examples of your own while reading this theories, then you can keep on reading… if you want to, of course.
Let’s go deeper with the whole “unexpected reactions”. By reactions I don’t only refer to expressions, but most of all, to feelings. For instance (yes, here goes an example, if you kept reading you deserve it), …
Ok, right there I wrote a huge example that later I realized it didn’t show exactly what I was trying to say, so, sorry, no example for now. Explaining myself is the hardest thing to do.
I feel like everyone is so different, and we all think in our own personal way, so not a lot of people will understand this. Do you feel like I actually haven’t said too much? Me too…
I’m just trying to explain, once again, the reason why sometimes people act so odd. It’s because our thoughts always betray us. They are never as we expect, they trick us and play with our minds. You have no control over them.
Since your personality was “formed” based on the world you live in and the people that makes contact with you, your thoughts become an entity. They rule over your behaviour, taking control of your feelings and telling them what to do, like if they were a trained dog. This means that sometimes they may disobey and take over. You know, like when you start crying unwillingly for something that you thought you would’ve never cried about.
I think I might just have made a point clear. My work is done here.
